How to Write a Touching Obituary

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This article was written by David I. Jacobson and wikiHow staff writer Ali Garbacz, BS David I. Jacobson is the founder of Chicago Jewish Funerals, an independent Jewish-owned funeral service provider that has grown into two funeral homes in the Chicago area. . With more than 30 years of experience serving families, David is a leading expert on Kavod Hamet, the Jewish tradition of honoring and respecting the dead. David is an active funeral director serving people planning and needing funerals, speaking extensively to congregations, community groups, and schools on the values ​​of a Jewish funeral, as well as the process of dying and the value of one’s legacy. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved after it receives enough positive comments. In this case, several readers wrote to tell us that they found this article helpful, earning it our Reader-Approved status. This article has been viewed 1,016,372 times.

Writing an obituary is a great responsibility, but also a very significant gesture. Losing a loved one is a difficult process to go through, but taking the time to write an obituary can help honor your life. An obituary provides important information about your loved one, such as when they passed away and when the funeral will take place, but it can also describe the life they lived. We’ll walk you through the steps of writing, revising, and submitting your obituary for newspaper print so you can more easily write a moving piece to remember your loved one.

  • Begin the obituary with the deceased person’s name, age, and cause of death if you want to share that information.
  • Write a short biography of the person, noting things like where they were born, education, career, and any major milestones during their life.
  • Help us paint a picture of who they were as people by writing about their hobbies, passions, personalities, and accomplishments.
  • List the people who died before this person, as well as family and friends who are still alive to pay tribute.

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Example of obituary asking for donations
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sample obituary for young people
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sample obituary for seniors

  1. Image titled Write an obituary Step 1

    Post the name and time of death in the first sentence. In the opening sentence, start with their name, where they lived, and when they died. You don’t have to state the cause of death if you don’t want to. Keep this sentence short and to the point so you can expand the obituary elsewhere. Some examples include:[1]

    • “On the morning of June 10, 2019, John William Smith of Atlanta passed away at the age of 80.”
    • “On the evening of September 7, 2010, Angela “Angie” Lauren Brown passed away peacefully of natural causes at Indiana University Health Methodist Hospital, IN. Angie was 75 years old.
    • “In the early morning hours of December 15, 2018, Joseph Mathew Lee passed away after a four-year battle with cancer while being cared for by staff at Northeastern Vermont Regional Hospital, VT. He was 50 years old.”
  2. Image titled Write an obituary Step 2

    Include a brief summary of your life in the next paragraph. List the city where your loved one was born, their parents, and important events that happened in their life. List these events chronologically or order them according to what you consider most important. Keep the obituary as concise as possible by keeping this section short. For example:[2]

    • “John was born to Tom and Jill Smith in 1950. He graduated in 1976 and ran John’s restaurant in Atlanta for 22 years. In July 1980, he married Jane Doe and together they raised two children, Anna and Benjamin.”
    • “Angie was born in Sacramento, CA to John and Jane Brown in February 1935, although she lived most of her life in Indianapolis, IN. She worked as a freelance writer and received much praise for her moving “her” novels.
    • Joseph was born in 1968 to Harry and Linda Lee in Burlington. He earned a master’s degree in education and taught high school English for nearly 30 years. He met his wife Sarah while working on his career and they were married in September 1995.
  3. Image titled Write an obituary Step 3

    Add a short paragraph about hobbies, passions, or personal characteristics. Including personal information will capture the spirit of your loved one so that others can understand what their life was like and what kind of person they were. Make a list of hobbies or activities that you have been actively involved in and use some good adjectives to help describe your character. For example:[3]

    • “John was an avid car collector in his spare time. When he wasn’t working at his restaurant, he restored classic cars and displayed them at car shows. He was known for his good sense of humor and infectious laugh among his friends.”
    • “In addition to writing, Angie was an active member of her community and spent a lot of time volunteering at her local animal shelter. She was especially fond of dogs and nothing brought her a bigger smile than when one of her furry friends went to a loving home.”
    • “Nothing made Joseph happier than seeing his students succeed. He was known for arriving early and staying late so he could help as many students as possible. He didn’t miss any school events either and he was always there to cheer on the many high school sports teams.”
    • You do not need to include this section if you do not have space for it in your obituary.
  4. Image titled Write an obituary Step 4

    In the third paragraph, list immediate family members. List immediate family members by name, such as immediate family and parents. When you want to specify the extended family, use a common term (ie several, many, etc.) or specify a specific number. For other people who died before your loved one, use the term “predeceased.” Use “survivor” before listing living relatives. There are no set rules about who should be included. Use your best judgment to determine who was most important to your loved one and worth mentioning. For example:[4]

    • “John was preceded in death by his father Tom and mother Jill. He is survived by his wife Jane, two children, Anna and Benjamin, and several cousins, nieces and nephews.”
    • “Angie was preceded in death by her father John, her mother Jane and her ex-husband Paul. She is survived by her sister Mary, her nieces Lily and Claire and several of her cousins.”
    • “Joseph predeceased his father Harry and is survived by his mother Linda, brother Tom, sister Lucy, wife Sarah and many aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews.”
  5. Image titled Write an obituary Step 5

    Provide details of the funeral service if it is public. If you are performing a public service, include the time and date along with the name of the funeral home. Be sure to include specific details so others close to your loved one know where to go. If you are hosting a separate viewing, reception, and/or graveside service, please include details of each event. For example:[5]

    • “The public memorial mass will be held at 11:30 am on June 11, 2019 at Christ Church.”
    • “A public visitation will be held from 2-6 pm on May 20, 2022 at Eastside Funeral Home. A private graveside service will be held on May 21 at 10 a.m. at Rolling Hill Cemetery.”
    • You do not have to provide any information if there is no public service.
    • Include information about a place to send memorial flowers or where people can make donations.

    Advice: If you prefer to receive monetary donations at the service instead of flowers at the funeral, please include a statement that reads “In lieu of flowers…” followed by the place of donation.

  1. Image titled Write an obituary Step 6

    Read the obituary aloud to catch mistakes. Read your obituary carefully after you’ve written it to check for grammar and look for spelling errors. Record your changes with a pencil so you know how to go back and change them.[6]

    • If you wrote the document on your computer, print it out so you can easily mark what you need to change on the page.
  2. Image titled Write an obituary Step 7

    Ask a friend or family member to check for any missing information. Give the obituary you wrote to a close relative so they can see if they have anything to add or remove. Write down any suggestions they have and try to convert them into a new copy of the obituary.[7]

    • Talk to several people close to your loved one to see if they have any stories or details they think should be included.
  3. Image titled Write an obituary Step 8

    Compare your obituary with other obituaries in the newspaper. Read the current obituaries of the newspaper you plan to submit yours to. Many newspapers have a certain style that they want all their obituaries written in, so make sure yours matches the format they use.[8]

    • If you want to submit to more than one newspaper, you may need to write multiple versions of your obituary to meet each newspaper’s standards.
    • If your obituary deviates too far from the newspaper’s standards, it may be rewritten. This could lead to accidental typos, so try to make your version as similar to its format as possible.
    • Obituaries don’t have to look exactly the same, but they should contain all the important information you need.
  1. Image titled Write an obituary Step 9

    Check your local newspaper’s website to see how to submit an obituary. Many newspapers accept obituaries through the web portal or email. Check your local newspaper’s website to see how they accept submissions and what files to include. Plan to drop off the obituary 2-3 days before the service so others can make travel arrangements.[9]

    • Check also their printing prices. Most newspapers charge you based on the number of inches your tribute takes up on physical paper. They can be quite expensive, so set a budget for yourself.

    Advice: Many funeral packages offer obituaries in addition to their services. If you use one, check with the package that you should see when you need to send the obituary through them.

  2. Image titled Write an obituary Step 10

    Send a photo of the deceased if you wish. Choose a happy photo of your loved one to let other people know that they lived a good life. Check with the newspaper you want to submit to if they have requirements for the size of the photo you want to submit.[10]

    • Some newspapers charge an additional fee for publishing images. Check with the newspaper’s obituary requirements.
  3. Image titled Write an obituary Step 11

    Submit your obituary before the print deadline if you want it to appear in the newspaper. Many newspapers have a printing deadline of around 2 or 3 pm Check with the newspaper you are submitting for the exact deadline by which you must complete the obituary.[11]

    • Even if you miss the print deadline, the obituary will still be posted on the newspaper’s website.
  • Do not include personal information, such as your date of birth or mother’s maiden name, as identity thieves could steal the information and commit fraud.[14]

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