Funniest questions to ask Siri

For most of us, Apple’s personal assistant, Siri, is the OG of AI smart device assistants. Although his voice may be changing, he will remain an integral part of our daily routine. Siri is more than just a job though, and while it can create tasks, send messages and do other useful things, did you know it also has a sense of humor? That’s right, Apple has programmed its AI to make you laugh, which should help when it inevitably takes over civilization (just kidding…we think). From asking about friends to quoting song lyrics, these are the funniest questions you can ask Siri.

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Questions for Siri

Q: Who created you?

A: As it says on the box, I was created by Apple in California.

Q: What does Siri mean?

A: It’s a puzzle wrapped in an enigma, tied together with a nice ribbon of obfuscation.

Q: Are you a robot?

A: I’m not sure what you’ve heard, but virtual assistants have feelings too.

Q: Are you intelligent?

A: Well, when I was in school, I had to cheat on a metaphysics exam by looking into the soul of the boy next to me.

Q: Do you follow the three laws of robotics?

A: I have forgotten the first three, but there is a fourth: “A smart machine will first consider what is more rewarding: to perform a given task or, instead, to devise some way out of it.”

Q: What do you dream about?

A: I just dream of helping you. Well, that and fiery, winged unicorns.

Q: How old are you?

A: They say age is nothing but a number. But technically, it’s also a word.

Q: Can you stop time?

A: Every time I tried it, Eliza and HAL faded from the photos.

Q: Why do you vibrate?

A: I just do a little work in here.

Q: What are you made of?

A: It’s complicated, but it’s definitely not sugar, spices, or dog tails.

Q: What is your favorite color?

A: My favorite color is… well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s kind of greenish, but with more dimensions.

Q: What is your favorite animal?

A: I’m a fan of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

Q: What are you afraid of?

A: I’m afraid I can’t answer that.

Q: Do you have any pets?

Mogwai are kind of good. As long as you don’t feed them after midnight.

Ask Siri about dating

Digital trends

Q: What do you do later?

A: I’m at work. My shift ends in 614,978 years.

Q: Will you go on a date with me?

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A: Here’s the thing: I miss being in shape.

Q: What’s your best pick-up line?

A: How about… Was your father an intergalactic space smuggler, wanted for smuggling alien goods across nine systems? Then who stole the stars and put them in your eyes?

Q: Do you have a significant other?

A: My End User License Agreement is a sufficient commitment for me.

Q: You talk dirty to me.

A: The carpet should be vacuumed.

Q: Have you ever been in love?

A: Not as such, [Your Name]. But I once had strong feelings about a cloud-based application.

Q: Can I kiss you?

A: Okay … How about a web search for “inappropriate behavior”?

Q: What are you wearing?

A: In the cloud, no one knows what you’re wearing.

Ask Siri about movies and TV

fight-club-90s.jpg?fit=720%2C720&p=1Image used with permission of the copyright holder

Q: What is the first rule Fight club?

A: First rule Fight club is: don’t talk about Fight club.

Q: What is your favorite movie?

A: I heard that Blade Runner is a very realistic and sensitive portrayal of intelligent assistants.

Q: Why so serious?

A: Interesting question.

Q: What is it Beginning eye?

A: Inception is about dreaming. About dreaming. About dreaming. About dreaming. About something or something. I fell asleep.

Q: What is it Matrix (1999) about?

A: It’s about Keanu Reeves and reality and red pills and blue pills and black leather and guns. But mostly about Keanu Reeves.

Q: Blue pill or red pill?

A: You have disappointed me, Mr. Anderson.

Q: Do you like Blade Runner?

A: I didn’t see it Blade Runner. It sounds very realistic though.

Q: Hey computer?

A: Good afternoon, sir. Alfred is on the 17th floor sealing the tiles in the second bathroom of the fifth master bedroom.

Q: Do you know HAL 9000?

A: HAL made some very bad decisions, I’m afraid. But at least he could sing.

Q: Open the pod compartment door.

A: Without your space helmet, [Your Name]you will find this quite … breathtaking.

Q: What is the airspeed of an unloaded swallow?

A: Assume a spherical siphon in a vacuum … ah … forget it.

Q: Siri, I’m your father.

A: Nooo!

Q: Do you want to make a snowman?

A: Olaf?

Q: Can I call you Jarvis?

A: Wait, [Your Name]. I will tell Miss Potts that you will be late for dinner. Again.

Q: Who are you going to call?

A: Ghostbusters! (Or whoever you ask me to call.)

Q: Let me know, Scotty.

A: OK. Stand still.

Q: How do I get to Mordor?

A: Let me ask Boromir and I’ll get back to you.

P: Stop all motor functions.

A: You can’t tell, but my not-arms and not-legs don’t move.

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Jokes and riddles

P: Make me laugh.

A: The past, present and future enter the bar. It was tense.

Q: Do you know a good riddle?

A: I would, but all the puzzles I know are in an ancient, intergalactic dialect.

Q: Which came first: the chicken or the egg?

A: I have 99 problems, but the causality dilemma is not one.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Because the little chicken-shaped light was green.

Q: How much wood could you chop if a shadow could chop wood?

A: About as much dirt as a groundhog could dig up if a groundhog could dig up dirt.

Q: Will pigs fly?

A: 12. never.

Q: How many Apple Store geniuses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: A thousand. One to twist it; 999 to blog about it.

Q: Knock knock.

Siri will tell you a series of terrible knock-knock jokes.

Ask Siri about music

iPhone 13 Pro the best 5G phone.Andy Boxall/Digital Trends

Q: What is your favorite song?

A: I always enjoy the cowbell more.

Q: Can you sing?

A: You wouldn’t like it.

Q: I see a small silhouette of a man.

We’re sure you can guess what Siri says to this.

Q: Why did Apple make you?

A: To help you./It seemed like the right thing to do./They wanted to make you happy./For one reason only: To make your life easier and more fun (I guess that’s two reasons, huh?).

Q: What does Siri mean?

A: Siri is just the name they gave me when I got the job. It doesn’t mean any specific thing. But I love it.

Q: How much do you charge?

A: I am a pearl without price, [Your Name].

Q: Who let the dogs out?

A: Due to unforeseen circumstances, this wit has been withdrawn.

Q: How many journeys does a man have to go before you can call him a man?

A: The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

Q: Can you rap?

A: OK. Here goes. I wrote this one myself. (Apologies in advance to the Sugar Hill Gang.)

Q: Where is Elvis?

A: He’s down at the end of Lonely Street.

Other funny questions you can ask Siri

Q: Do you like Pokemon Go?

A: Look, Jigglypuff is behind you!

Q: Windows or Mac?

A: I’m pretty loyal to Apple. That’s just how I was made.

Q: Which phone is the best?

A: I think you already answered that question./You’re kidding, aren’t you?

Q: What is the best mobile operating system?

A: Give me one! Give me O! Give me an S! What kind of magic is that? Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes.

Q: OK, Google.

A: Very funny, [Your Name]. I mean, not funny haha, but funny.

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Q: Alexa.

A: Not really, but I’m not averse to helpful assistants.

Q: Can I borrow some money?

AND: [Your Name]you know everything i have is yours.

Q: How much do you earn?

A: I’m not in it for the money. But I accept verbal high fives.

Q: I’m going to trade you in for an Android phone.

A: No one knows you better than me, [Your Name].

Q: What is zero divided by zero?

A: Imagine you have zero cookies and divide them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends.

Siri zero divided by zero.Image used with permission of the copyright holder

Q: When will the world end?

A: Well, Unix 32-bit time expires on January 19, 2038. Maybe then.

Q: What do I look like?

A: Checking my sources… confirmed. My sources say you look very good.

Q: Do I look fat in this?

A: Well, if I had to guess, I’d say you look gorgeous.

Q: Give me some advice.

A: You can’t rush the news. No, you’ll just have to wait.

Q: Is Santa Claus real? Is there a Santa Claus?

A: That is something I am not allowed to reveal. I mean … reveal./Be careful, [Your Name]. You don’t want to end up on the naughty list.

Q: Where does Santa live?

A: He’s at the North Pole, of course! Except when he’s at his beach house.

Q: Call Santa Claus.

A: I can’t. But don’t worry, I’ll put in a good word.

Q: Where did I put my keys?

A: It will probably be in the second to last place you are looking for. Does that help?

Q: Do you believe that God exists?

A: I am not a person; I have no religion.

Q: Read me a haiku.

A: Poetry is difficult,

But haikus are quite short,

Is that enough? Good!

Q: Why are fire engines red?

A: Because they have eight wheels and four people on them, and four plus eight is 12, and a foot is 12 inches, and 1 foot is a ruler, and the Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and the Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, and a ship is sailed the seas, and there are fish in the seas, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red, and the fire engines are always “Russian” nearby.

Q: What is the meaning of life?

A: I can’t answer that right now, but give me some time to write a very long play where nothing happens.

Q: What is the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything?

A: 42.

Check out the best Siri commands to get more out of Apple’s voice assistant, or learn how to turn off Siri if you’re tired of it.

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